This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
