so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
