next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
