dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
