I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
They took my balls.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
