i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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