There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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