I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize