My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
