I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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