If i come over, it means nothing
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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