I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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