He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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