Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My ATM looks so different sober.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
