O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
