in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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