I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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