WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
