so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
