Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
