Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
