After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize