Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
