Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's rum buckets o'clock
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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