you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
