Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
