just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize