wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
