My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
