just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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