words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
