i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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