So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize