6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
