Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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