so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
FUCK WHALES
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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