apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
