try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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