when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
