I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
