He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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