You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
