I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
