I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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