watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
