i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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