Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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