That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I queefed so loud it echoed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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