Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
