I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
