Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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