Say something about gay babies.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
