At least make sure they are 18
Why
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
