I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
