I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
