I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
