Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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