Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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